The Meaning of Life
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Reading: Hebrews 13
Since I lost my daddy in March, Friday, March 11 to be exact...I have found myself struggling in areas that have never been hard for me before. Spiritually, Emotionally, and Physically.
One of the areas is church attendance. I have always loved and had a peace and joy to get to church on Sunday. But now I am having days where I just want to stay home and isolate myself. For more than 12 years, I have been volunteering, serving, my church and community. I would pour into projects believing God called me to it, but the outcome did not produce the fruit I had hoped for. I have started experiencing a feeling of apathy, just simply not caring anymore, and feeling like I was not making a difference anyway.
What impacted me the most while my father was battling illness, was watching him at the very end of his life - just literally wither and die. When you physically witness with your eyes and heart someone passing over into eternity, you are faced with the reality that we truly can not take anything from this world with us. Not our reputations, not our positions, not our paychecks, and not our people. More than ever, I realize that I have to live with this reality of eternity in mind. But this is the part that is exhausting, because the eternal things that have supernatural reward are not about Keri. Keri wants to achieve, drive hard, and do all kinds of amazing things. Keri wants to operate with multi-tasking and do more in every area of her gifting, but this is not what God is asking her to do. The Lord is saying your family is your ministry in this season. The act of obedience for me spiritually is exhausting.
Yet, I can not afford to get it wrong. This Sunday, I fought through. Saturday night my son asked if we were going to church. My husband made the decision for us all. Thank GOD for him!!!
And that is when everything started to get better! The message Sunday could not have been more perfectly timed!! Hymns are pretty rare during worship at my church. But on Sunday, they played "IT IS WELL" which was my dad's theme song at some trying times through life. It has super special meaning to our family including the fact that when hospice called me to say he passed, the song came on right after I hung up the phone.
The message was about sacrifice. And for me, it resonated, in a way that was from the Lord directly to me - that not doing life alone was going to be about me having to sacrifice right now. Keri does not want to do life with others right now and I really do not want to go and serve on care because I am so exhausted. I really do not want to do home group or call my friends. I am avoiding the phone even most days. But the Lord reminded me in the most loving way that His best for us (Hebrews 13) is to not give up meeting together - as this is the source whereby He works through His people to help us.
And also, to "keep on loving each other" - "for by doing so some people have entertained angels without knowing it"...and that is something I do not want to forfeit!
Please watch this message - if you are experiencing any kind of struggle, trust me when I say you will receive from it and be blessed.
https://newspring.cc/sermons/memorial-day
Reading: Hebrews 13
Since I lost my daddy in March, Friday, March 11 to be exact...I have found myself struggling in areas that have never been hard for me before. Spiritually, Emotionally, and Physically.
One of the areas is church attendance. I have always loved and had a peace and joy to get to church on Sunday. But now I am having days where I just want to stay home and isolate myself. For more than 12 years, I have been volunteering, serving, my church and community. I would pour into projects believing God called me to it, but the outcome did not produce the fruit I had hoped for. I have started experiencing a feeling of apathy, just simply not caring anymore, and feeling like I was not making a difference anyway.
What impacted me the most while my father was battling illness, was watching him at the very end of his life - just literally wither and die. When you physically witness with your eyes and heart someone passing over into eternity, you are faced with the reality that we truly can not take anything from this world with us. Not our reputations, not our positions, not our paychecks, and not our people. More than ever, I realize that I have to live with this reality of eternity in mind. But this is the part that is exhausting, because the eternal things that have supernatural reward are not about Keri. Keri wants to achieve, drive hard, and do all kinds of amazing things. Keri wants to operate with multi-tasking and do more in every area of her gifting, but this is not what God is asking her to do. The Lord is saying your family is your ministry in this season. The act of obedience for me spiritually is exhausting.
Yet, I can not afford to get it wrong. This Sunday, I fought through. Saturday night my son asked if we were going to church. My husband made the decision for us all. Thank GOD for him!!!
And that is when everything started to get better! The message Sunday could not have been more perfectly timed!! Hymns are pretty rare during worship at my church. But on Sunday, they played "IT IS WELL" which was my dad's theme song at some trying times through life. It has super special meaning to our family including the fact that when hospice called me to say he passed, the song came on right after I hung up the phone.
The message was about sacrifice. And for me, it resonated, in a way that was from the Lord directly to me - that not doing life alone was going to be about me having to sacrifice right now. Keri does not want to do life with others right now and I really do not want to go and serve on care because I am so exhausted. I really do not want to do home group or call my friends. I am avoiding the phone even most days. But the Lord reminded me in the most loving way that His best for us (Hebrews 13) is to not give up meeting together - as this is the source whereby He works through His people to help us.
And also, to "keep on loving each other" - "for by doing so some people have entertained angels without knowing it"...and that is something I do not want to forfeit!
Please watch this message - if you are experiencing any kind of struggle, trust me when I say you will receive from it and be blessed.
https://newspring.cc/sermons/memorial-day
Comments
Post a Comment