Honesty, Transparency and Reconciliation!
November 6, 2010
Today is my 34th birthday...life is really flying by. I thought it would somehow slow down a little now that I am home more with James but I could not have been more wrong. The reason I have not made time to post is mainly because I am spending more time with him each day because the more time I spend with him the more I want to spend with him!! It has really helped me see how important my family are to me. I am so incredibly thankful for this time in my life and God's continuous hand on our family, marriage, and finances as we are determined to honor Him no matter the circumstances.
As I focus in on our marriage with this extra time on my hands, I am reminded of how much work there is to do even though I am not on a salary! It humbles me. In order to experience the fullness of Christ, the fullness of joy He promises us in His word - we have to dedicate time and energy to following His word - following what Jesus lays out for us as required by Him in His word. It is so easy to just celebrate and worship all of the time about the cross, the resurrection, and the Hope we have in Him - but in order to receive the fullness of abundant joy and His design for our life - and for our marriages - we MUST examine our obedience, our own following, of what He asks us to do on a daily basis.
In all honesty, my husband and I rarely disagree or have conflict to the point of real anger or raised voices. In fact, that is one of the reasons I knew that Jon is God's best for me because he exercises control over his feelings and emotions and never raises his voice to me. But, I find when we begin to really celebrate what the Lord is doing in our life - whether it is a trying circumstance that He is brining us through or some major exciting blessing, that is really when Satan gets creative. In our 3 + years of marriage, we have never gone to bed angry. One night this week we were praying before bedtime and reading God's word - and as I am praising in my heart thankfulness for my husband's obedience to have quiet time with the Lord, somehow we got on a tangent and he was not careful with his words and misspoke about something that was on his mind. Long story short - despite his pleading - I got up and left the room and shut the door to any more conversation with him. This really made him angry and upset. I could not go to sleep. I was so convicted about letting the sun go down on my anger - and sad because I knew I could not get that precious time back that had already slipped away. I had to examine my behavior and recognize the areas that I chose not to be obedient to what the Lord requires of us in relationships. First, he tells us in His word not to stay angry. I chose to stay angry. I knew that he had hurt my feelings and he knew it, but I chose to make the situation worse by ignoring him. Jon had confessed what he did wrong, repented, and wanted to reconcile. My not allowing this to happen created a foothold for everything opposite to occur in our hearts and minds, which is not what God requires of us. Honesty, transparency, confession, repentance and reconciliation is the recipe for successful relationships. Each of us share equal responsibility regardless of the circumstances to allow for each of these to take place daily with our spouses, friends, work counterparts, etc. You can not celebrate Jesus and what He did for us if you are not trying your best to follow what He says. Everyone in a marriage or a dating relationship needs to evaluate each day in each circumstance and ask the question "What am I doing that is not obedient in this relationship?" - let go of what the other person has done - look at your reactions, emotions, responses - and identify what areas you need to be more honest in - where you need to be more transparent, confess, repent in your relationship and ask for reconciliation without judgment. The results are guaranteed to bring at least God's grace - and from there the rest is up to you in prayer.
Today is my 34th birthday...life is really flying by. I thought it would somehow slow down a little now that I am home more with James but I could not have been more wrong. The reason I have not made time to post is mainly because I am spending more time with him each day because the more time I spend with him the more I want to spend with him!! It has really helped me see how important my family are to me. I am so incredibly thankful for this time in my life and God's continuous hand on our family, marriage, and finances as we are determined to honor Him no matter the circumstances.
As I focus in on our marriage with this extra time on my hands, I am reminded of how much work there is to do even though I am not on a salary! It humbles me. In order to experience the fullness of Christ, the fullness of joy He promises us in His word - we have to dedicate time and energy to following His word - following what Jesus lays out for us as required by Him in His word. It is so easy to just celebrate and worship all of the time about the cross, the resurrection, and the Hope we have in Him - but in order to receive the fullness of abundant joy and His design for our life - and for our marriages - we MUST examine our obedience, our own following, of what He asks us to do on a daily basis.
In all honesty, my husband and I rarely disagree or have conflict to the point of real anger or raised voices. In fact, that is one of the reasons I knew that Jon is God's best for me because he exercises control over his feelings and emotions and never raises his voice to me. But, I find when we begin to really celebrate what the Lord is doing in our life - whether it is a trying circumstance that He is brining us through or some major exciting blessing, that is really when Satan gets creative. In our 3 + years of marriage, we have never gone to bed angry. One night this week we were praying before bedtime and reading God's word - and as I am praising in my heart thankfulness for my husband's obedience to have quiet time with the Lord, somehow we got on a tangent and he was not careful with his words and misspoke about something that was on his mind. Long story short - despite his pleading - I got up and left the room and shut the door to any more conversation with him. This really made him angry and upset. I could not go to sleep. I was so convicted about letting the sun go down on my anger - and sad because I knew I could not get that precious time back that had already slipped away. I had to examine my behavior and recognize the areas that I chose not to be obedient to what the Lord requires of us in relationships. First, he tells us in His word not to stay angry. I chose to stay angry. I knew that he had hurt my feelings and he knew it, but I chose to make the situation worse by ignoring him. Jon had confessed what he did wrong, repented, and wanted to reconcile. My not allowing this to happen created a foothold for everything opposite to occur in our hearts and minds, which is not what God requires of us. Honesty, transparency, confession, repentance and reconciliation is the recipe for successful relationships. Each of us share equal responsibility regardless of the circumstances to allow for each of these to take place daily with our spouses, friends, work counterparts, etc. You can not celebrate Jesus and what He did for us if you are not trying your best to follow what He says. Everyone in a marriage or a dating relationship needs to evaluate each day in each circumstance and ask the question "What am I doing that is not obedient in this relationship?" - let go of what the other person has done - look at your reactions, emotions, responses - and identify what areas you need to be more honest in - where you need to be more transparent, confess, repent in your relationship and ask for reconciliation without judgment. The results are guaranteed to bring at least God's grace - and from there the rest is up to you in prayer.
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